2009 A New Beginning.. New Realization

Year 2008 has just ended. And as year 2009 begins, I couldn't help myself recall the happenings brought to me last year. People who touches my life, disspointments, struggles and hopes. I was quite enthralled taking a glimpse of the events surrounded me as year 2008 consumed its time up to the last minute. Most were cute things, funny memories, confusions, suppressions and a lot of mix emotions. Remembering all those cute stuffs, "stuffs" as in feelings? Well, remembering all those is really giving me a blush in my cheeks. I'd never thought I would feel that. Being so helpless controlling my emotions before things get worst. I wonder how I managed that. Well maybe it’s just a matter of thinking rationally like mind rules above all things including feelings. I got a long break vacation. Visited important people whom I haven’t seen for a couple of years. I had witnessed a nearly physical fight between siblings but thank GOD misunderstanding was replaced with love and acceptance abruptly. I miss my friends, my classmates. I'm wearing a sort of strict face here in my office. But it's just a defense mechanism, a mask. It's quite hard being a manager you know. But deep inside I'm really fragile. Easily get affected with situations. Anyway, we get a chance to visit "Lola’s" farm last Christmas. I had fun taking some pictures in there. Glad we got the chance to visit her. She's quite old already. She's a woman with one look you will see full of wisdom and contentment. Although that town is very far, the trip went well. We had full of memories celebrating the Christmas in there. As 2009 begins, I already got few realizations in my life. One thing for sure is I'm really focusing now establishing a future for my love ones. Another hard decision to make is we need to stand on our own right now. It may be not at instant but we need to at least start preparing for it which I'm already doing right now. I couldn't really avoid thinking that many will surely get hurt with the decisions we made but this is the right thing to do. It's for the good of everybody. I need to stick with this decision and this time no emotions should intervene. This is my way to protect them from the harsh side of my existence. I love them despite of their negative side and I don't want to hurt them just because of my stupid pride and tactless tongue. 2008 is a great teacher as I may say. It taught me to become strong and to think in a more mature way. Here in office, I couldn't help myself to smile thinking all those fights in emails. Well the word "fight" might be too exaggerated. I shall say "misunderstanding" I guess with some detractors. But that's over now. I shouldn't let myself get into that kind of situation anymore. I should handle things more maturely now. As what I said "focus" and focus more. GOD I couldn't believe March is approaching. Soon I will receive my masters’ degree diploma. I'm quite excited but at the same time a bit sad. I'm going to miss my school life for sure and my classmates who became real close friends. I had plans after graduation though. I want to try teaching as a part time job. I want to try what its like to be the teacher at school. Would that be so hard? Not because of load which I'm pretty sure I could easily handle but because of handling different personalities of the students. It's for me to find out I guess.

So much with those, I should give some thrill revealing about my inner side and what's on my mind. I love being mysterious sometime. *wink*. Anyway, I got myself into DVD movie marathon these past few days. One story that really caught me was that movie "Twilight". I was really kind of amaze with the story. I always love the sort of "impossible love affair". Not just a simple complicated love affair but stories like a vampire in love with a human? Wow the story really caught me and I salute the author of the book. My classmate has a complete copy of the book and it's very kind of her to share it to me. Each chapter is a bit long but I have lots of patience reading it especially that the story somehow touches me. These are the kind of stories that I love, "the impossible love stories". Well hope I could finish reading it all. It is darkening my eyes right now. Letting myself sleep very, very late because of the excitement of reading it. Oh I couldn’t wait seeing the part 2 of that movie. Hmmm, well this message is getting longer now. I think I should stop before the reader gets bored. Are you? Well hope not. Come visit my blog again. Happy New Year!