It's been awhile since my last blogging I think and I usually ended up to writing whenever I feel saturated already with mixed emotions. It's like my other sanctuary where I can release sad thoughts, happy memories and concerns that I may have right now because after awhile as I look back to what I have written, I can proudly say to myself, "wow I have gone through that? But gladly I made it through". It feels great that GOD blessed me with another year. I just celebrated my 32nd birthday last sunday. Well I’m kind of a bit old now but just a little, I mean not so yet (blush blush ^_^). When I look back at the past till the present now, I can say that I have achieved much already and if GOD will grant me more achievements in life, I will gladly embrace it with all my strength and courage. I can say that I have been through rough times with tears and struggles but that is life. Every decision made has indeed consequences but if it is for the better, I will gladly face it. It's hard being alone away from people you love but I'm facing everything with courage and faith so I can provide and I can make someone's dream come true.
My birthday eve wasn't that great though because I was crying over something I didn’t expected to come. Tears seemed bursting inside after an sms from someone dear to me shared some concerns. It's like I'm caught between to commit or not to commit. To say No which will surely make this person down because deep in my heart I know he has no one to turn but me or to say Yes which will turn things into jeopardy. For their sake, I am willing to give my all while I still can and while my health still can handle it. It brought me to some realization that really made me cry in front of my housemate while having coffee late that night. I just couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. I feel sad with the thought that many thinks that I'm so strong and can just handle everything without no doubt where in fact I too can be very vulnerable at times and what they see is just a shield telling the world "Hey I'm Ok!" but the truth is I'm already crying inside enduring some pains and disappointments. But what else can I do but to love myself more and to take good care of those people who truly loves me with no conditions, no buts and no ifs because at the end of the day, when others starting to find you worthless and not as good anymore as you used to nor pretty anymore like you used to, these true people will still be there to guide you, to be your eyes and ears and to comfort you in times of sorrows.
I guess life is just like that. Like Forrest Gumps famous quote that says "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you gonna get." So what’s the best way to handle it? Do your hair spa, pamper yourself with a massage, threat yourself to a movie and try some good restaurant nearby. In other words, love yourself more and to stay always strong and more faith. And I'm sure things will get better at the end. So what's next for me? Just continue to hang on, have the courage, face new challenge, and love the love that comes along the way. Trust, share and get hurt over and over again and after that stand up and face the world with courage and pride. Because that is the essence of life and we need to go through hardship for us to be strong and to test our faith. It will give balance to oneself. As they say, “laugh and the world will laugh with you. Weep and you weep alone”. So just be positive always and it will be sunshine again after the rain.
Till my next blog.
My birthday eve wasn't that great though because I was crying over something I didn’t expected to come. Tears seemed bursting inside after an sms from someone dear to me shared some concerns. It's like I'm caught between to commit or not to commit. To say No which will surely make this person down because deep in my heart I know he has no one to turn but me or to say Yes which will turn things into jeopardy. For their sake, I am willing to give my all while I still can and while my health still can handle it. It brought me to some realization that really made me cry in front of my housemate while having coffee late that night. I just couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. I feel sad with the thought that many thinks that I'm so strong and can just handle everything without no doubt where in fact I too can be very vulnerable at times and what they see is just a shield telling the world "Hey I'm Ok!" but the truth is I'm already crying inside enduring some pains and disappointments. But what else can I do but to love myself more and to take good care of those people who truly loves me with no conditions, no buts and no ifs because at the end of the day, when others starting to find you worthless and not as good anymore as you used to nor pretty anymore like you used to, these true people will still be there to guide you, to be your eyes and ears and to comfort you in times of sorrows.
I guess life is just like that. Like Forrest Gumps famous quote that says "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you gonna get." So what’s the best way to handle it? Do your hair spa, pamper yourself with a massage, threat yourself to a movie and try some good restaurant nearby. In other words, love yourself more and to stay always strong and more faith. And I'm sure things will get better at the end. So what's next for me? Just continue to hang on, have the courage, face new challenge, and love the love that comes along the way. Trust, share and get hurt over and over again and after that stand up and face the world with courage and pride. Because that is the essence of life and we need to go through hardship for us to be strong and to test our faith. It will give balance to oneself. As they say, “laugh and the world will laugh with you. Weep and you weep alone”. So just be positive always and it will be sunshine again after the rain.Till my next blog.
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