Life's Path

Last night, I started packing up some of my things to send to my hometown as I am sending some stuffs that I just bought from amazon.com and some stores here for the opening of my soon to be shop as well. When I started picking up the old clothes that I hardly used for awhile, suddenly memories flushed back to me starting that very first day I stepped in the airport. That moment when I first laid my eyes on the sights of this beautiful country, I was surrounded with mixed emotions , utterly difficult to describe There's excitement and hope but there's also sadness as that was the start of the day that I will seldom see and hug my family. That was the day when I started living alone just by myself. It was difficult but I have proven that I am a strong person as I truly won the battle of loneliness. I won it by teaching myself to stand and rely on my own strength and to have faith always. One thing I learned from  this being away experience is, it forced me to become more independent and to stand my ground holding firmly my full commitment in life. Life here is totally different as everyone is busy doing their own thing. The one thing I'm so proud of is despite of challenges, my commitment never wavered. We remain committed with our words and the love surmounting the foundation of our commitment gets stronger each day. It is really true now that we do have all the options in life and it is up to us to choose our option wisely. To never base a decision out from despair and out from the sake of temporary satisfaction.

Weighing consequences is I guess one my of skills. But above all, I don't want to choose a path that can break the heart of those people I treasure the most. And in the first place, I am here because of my intention to help them reach their dreams. It is obvious to myself now that their happiness is also my happiness beyond compare. At one time, I just realized that I was truly blessed with too much understanding and support. And how stubborn am I at times that I sometimes became skeptical to that fact returning back a  selfish gesture instead of returning it with full gratitude. Despite of my indifference and my weaknesses, I was given the chance to prove to the world that I too can do it. I was blessed with skills glowing in the embrace of my determination and faith. Now I can't deny that my heart is jumping from happiness and excitement to once again be reunited and discover what lays ahead. But this time, that path that I am choosing is leading back to them and seeing myself fulfilling my hearts desire with their everyday's warm embrace.

Truly, the experience is a bliss.

The essence of life..

It's been awhile since my last blogging I think and I usually ended up to writing whenever I feel saturated already with mixed emotions. It's like my other sanctuary where I can release sad thoughts, happy memories and concerns that I may have right now because after awhile as I look back to what I have written, I can proudly say to myself, "wow I have gone through that? But gladly I made it through". It feels great that GOD blessed me with another year. I just celebrated my 32nd birthday last sunday. Well I’m kind of a bit old now but just a little, I mean not so yet (blush blush ^_^). When I look back at the past till the present now, I can say that I have achieved much already and if GOD will grant me more achievements in life, I will gladly embrace it with all my strength and courage. I can say that I have been through rough times with tears and struggles but that is life. Every decision made has indeed consequences but if it is for the better, I will gladly face it. It's hard being alone away from people you love but I'm facing everything with courage and faith so I can provide and I can make someone's dream come true.


My birthday eve wasn't that great though because I was crying over something I didn’t expected to come. Tears seemed bursting inside after an sms from someone dear to me shared some concerns. It's like I'm caught between to commit or not to commit. To say No which will surely make this person down because deep in my heart I know he has no one to turn but me or to say Yes which will turn things into jeopardy. For their sake, I am willing to give my all while I still can and while my health still can handle it. It brought me to some realization that really made me cry in front of my housemate while having coffee late that night. I just couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. I feel sad with the thought that many thinks that I'm so strong and can just handle everything without no doubt where in fact I too can be very vulnerable at times and what they see is just a shield telling the world "Hey I'm Ok!" but the truth is I'm already crying inside enduring some pains and disappointments. But what else can I do but to love myself more and to take good care of those people who truly loves me with no conditions, no buts and no ifs because at the end of the day, when others starting to find you worthless and not as good anymore as you used to nor pretty anymore like you used to, these true people will still be there to guide you, to be your eyes and ears and to comfort you in times of sorrows.

I guess life is just like that. Like Forrest Gumps famous quote that says "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you gonna get." So what’s the best way to handle it? Do your hair spa, pamper yourself with a massage, threat yourself to a movie and try some good restaurant nearby. In other words, love yourself more and to stay always strong and more faith. And I'm sure things will get better at the end. So what's next for me? Just continue to hang on, have the courage, face new challenge, and love the love that comes along the way. Trust, share and get hurt over and over again and after that stand up and face the world with courage and pride. Because that is the essence of life and we need to go through hardship for us to be strong and to test our faith. It will give balance to oneself. As they say, “laugh and the world will laugh with you. Weep and you weep alone”. So just be positive always and it will be sunshine again after the rain.

Till my next blog.

Dreaming to fulfill someone's dream

What I want to do right now is to fulfill one's dream. To be GOD's instrument for them to be happy and satisfied. In a way I will feel happy, content, and fulfilled. Everything we have in our life was given for a reason and designed to mold us into a better person. We are destined to travel to a certain path and each path there lies challenges, pains, happiness, and contentment. I let GOD guide me which path I should take. I believe everything that I feel and think right now is his will. Here's hoping that everything will be in place and all the people who depends on me will also be guided and settled. We should have faith always and constantly believe what we can achieve because whatever our mind can conceive, it will be given.

I'll be turning 31 this coming March 20 so Happy Birthday to me!! Wow I'm getting older each day but that's part of our lives. The aging thing shouldn't be worried these days because lots of facial cream that can help you cover the lines. But I'm blessed with wisdom and the chance of understanding and facing life's peculiarities and challenges. There are still many questions in my mind and seeking for some answers. But that's the beauty of it. Unveiling what lies ahead. Faith, Love, and Hope will be my shield.