Life's Path

Last night, I started packing up some of my things to send to my hometown as I am sending some stuffs that I just bought from amazon.com and some stores here for the opening of my soon to be shop as well. When I started picking up the old clothes that I hardly used for awhile, suddenly memories flushed back to me starting that very first day I stepped in the airport. That moment when I first laid my eyes on the sights of this beautiful country, I was surrounded with mixed emotions , utterly difficult to describe There's excitement and hope but there's also sadness as that was the start of the day that I will seldom see and hug my family. That was the day when I started living alone just by myself. It was difficult but I have proven that I am a strong person as I truly won the battle of loneliness. I won it by teaching myself to stand and rely on my own strength and to have faith always. One thing I learned from  this being away experience is, it forced me to become more independent and to stand my ground holding firmly my full commitment in life. Life here is totally different as everyone is busy doing their own thing. The one thing I'm so proud of is despite of challenges, my commitment never wavered. We remain committed with our words and the love surmounting the foundation of our commitment gets stronger each day. It is really true now that we do have all the options in life and it is up to us to choose our option wisely. To never base a decision out from despair and out from the sake of temporary satisfaction.

Weighing consequences is I guess one my of skills. But above all, I don't want to choose a path that can break the heart of those people I treasure the most. And in the first place, I am here because of my intention to help them reach their dreams. It is obvious to myself now that their happiness is also my happiness beyond compare. At one time, I just realized that I was truly blessed with too much understanding and support. And how stubborn am I at times that I sometimes became skeptical to that fact returning back a  selfish gesture instead of returning it with full gratitude. Despite of my indifference and my weaknesses, I was given the chance to prove to the world that I too can do it. I was blessed with skills glowing in the embrace of my determination and faith. Now I can't deny that my heart is jumping from happiness and excitement to once again be reunited and discover what lays ahead. But this time, that path that I am choosing is leading back to them and seeing myself fulfilling my hearts desire with their everyday's warm embrace.

Truly, the experience is a bliss.

Just My Monday Morning

It's Monday morning. Alarm clock set to 5:30 am and the second alarm clock set to 5:40 am. So Ok after the first alarm clock bells, that's my signal to stop dreaming. I lazily stretch my arm reaching that alarm clock and make it stop before it can actually disturb others sleeping in the other rooms. Eyes still close but my system already awaken and if I was having a beautiful dream I will try to continue it and see the happy ending. If I dream nothing, fine, I will think of some plans to make my day more interesting. When the second alarm bells, time to open my eyes and adjust my eyesight in the dark room; intently checking each corners, the walls, the ceiling, and the door. Sometimes I wondered why I need to do that. So I got up stretching my veins, settling my mind yet still feeling skeptical with the whole idea that it's Monday morning and need to do my thing again in the office. Time for basic hygiene routines and sometimes deciding what to wear and how to do my hair. And now that I'm ready, it will be time to walk but almost running actually as I need to drop by at a Filipino hawker to buy food for me. From there I need to take the MRT going to the bus station where I can ride the bus going to my working place. I should have a perfect harmony with time as 1 minute late at the bus station will take me 15 minutes more to wait for the next bus. That's why literally I'm already running just to get there in time. Way back months ago, I feel very exhausted but after awhile my system is already used to it and in fact I'm loving the idea of exercising every morning. It allows me to have extra energy all through out the day. I find it healthy in a way.

When I finally reach office, that's the time to loosen a bit myself, say my Hi and Hellos to my colleague catching what they do on the weekends. Luckily my employer is kind enough to provide us a pantry where we can prepare coffee and in my case cereal or oatmeal for the morning. Usually my first thing is I check work emails while drinking my cereal. I can also take some small bite of bread to make my breakfast complete. Taking vitamin C also is always part of my daily dose. And the rest is work, work and more work.

Sometimes I feel that the stress I'm getting is overwhelming as most of the time, I develop systems, debug codes and program system logics. Quite tricky but perhaps I am bound to compel as my body is actually anticipating such profession because it's where my thing is. Coding is fun but sometimes I cannot elude that same pattern feeling of entrapment like you are always inside a box. Sometimes I envy those who chooses from start a career that can actually make you embrace the beauty of every living and non-living things on earth. It’s not that I regret what I have chosen but it’s just merely giving an answer to my curiosity. But if given the chance, I would love to have new career where I can actually give help and show compassion to people by servicing them first hand like in medical field treating illnesses, managing a Foundation Home reaching those who needs help and imparting knowledge to students which I already did last 2009. And I'm actually planning to go back next year.

I always love to be of service to those who are in need. If someone will ask me what's in my dream list. I would say Hospital, Foundation, School, and Farm. Dreaming is free so it is ok to dream big. Perhaps someday, I'll be able to achieve this. Let’s fly with our dreams.

'Till then...... ^_^